I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I’m not always the biggest fan of Christmas. Not from a religious point of view (everyone needs a birthday), but from the social pressure point of view.
So, for the 2017 Christmas message from #planetrvn, I want to say this is for everyone who doesn’t like this time of year, and dreads the disruption and change it brings – because, however you live your life, Christmas brings disruption.
I’m sure for many of you it brings joy, but this blog is for anyone who has even the slightest hint of dread about the days to come.
Just a day?
For everyone who says “it’s just a day”, it really isn’t – it’s not just a day; Christmas goes on for weeks, if not months. The products arrive in shops in September, the media adverts arrive by the end of October and we all know someone who posts Christmas countdown clocks on social media throughout the year.
As we get closer to D-Day, shops change their opening hours, get busier and move products around. Your transport or parking options change – by this I mean usually decrease. Even your gym will change classes and reduce its timetable.
On a personal level, I turned down my first festive invite in July this year!
Online food shop for December. As a gluten free person, all my favourite products disappear from the shelves and get replaced by gluten free festive products. One cannot live on gluten free stollen alone.
It’s easy to see why the dread can become such a big feeling. Few regular events in our lives get such a long and widespread buildup; this is a public event and you’re expected to #joinin (more of this # later)
There’s already stress from general day-to-day life, but at this time of year the usual pillars that keep you sane get shifted and it can be hard to find alternatives.
Then we have our work in the veterinary world, where it doesn’t get any better throughout the festive season – extra emergency hours, festive eating incidents, the sickly puppies that were gifts and the passing of the aged.
If you’re studying, there are end-of-term deadlines to face and, for many, exams looming in January.
Try a new gym class, or treat yourself to a private class or personal training session to replace your usual sessions. December isn’t going to be that busy for many gyms, and many private classes offer cut-price first sessions.
To add to all this, there are the ubiquitous family pressures.
Social convention is that you travel miles in the worst traffic or with the poorest rail service at the most expensive time of year to spend a short period of time with too many people in too little space.
Defy social convention. I use covering emergency shifts to get out of family functions. I know they may read this, but hey, if you hadn’t guessed this already I’m shocked – and no, I don’t actually do a shift, I just say I am. As you were.
Instead of the family function or emergency shift, choose what you want to do. Bath and a book, movie date with yourself, dog walk with friends. Love you. I binge watch Kardashians on the Hayu app, but each to their own!
Even writing this is exhausting, so if you aren’t Ho Ho Ho-ing to 25 December then stay tuned – there is help and you are not alone.
It’s totally normal to feel extra stress and pressure at Christmas. Expectations are high, the buildup is long and to “fit in” you’re supposed to be having a great time all the time. What is not good is if you feel you cannot cope.
- Please talk to people – personal support networks or professional ones, it doesn’t matter (The Vetlife telephone number is 0303 040 2551).
- Make plans you can stick to – you do not have to say yes to every invitation. Allow yourself some rest time.
- Eat well – the constant supply of chocolates at work and post-work drinks don’t help energy levels (see my tip on shopping, above).
#joinin
For anyone starting to worry about being alone/lonely on Christmas Day, I will be doing #joinin again on here. If you don’t know what it is, it’s a hashtag we use to connect all of those who could do with some company. Join us for #joinin.
— Sarah Millican (@SarahMillican75) November 12, 2017
Find other communities to be part of – and this where we mention the great Sarah Millican and her #joinin campaign.
Sarah started this on Twitter to allow people who were lonely to talk on Christmas Day. I particularly like that it allows you to have a chat about what’s on TV, what you’re eating, what you’ll eat next, and what you shouldn’t have eaten – all the things you’d do with someone in the same room, just via Twitter. So, if your usual community is off being festive then join a new one.
If you have completed your annual pilgrimage home to sleep in your childhood bedroom then you may also find #duvetknowitschristmas amusing. Rhodri Marsden hosts this Twitter chance to share where you end up sleeping when families get together. You’re not the only one on a sofa in the conservatory – I promise.
Help yourself by helping others
If you have more time to fill than just the big day, have a look at volunteering (which I’ve written about before), but don’t try to fill all time gaps with other activities. Be kind to yourself as well as others.
Spending Christmas Day on your own may seem scary, but I’ll let you into a secret: some of the best Christmas Days I’ve had have been on my own. I bought food I wanted to eat, wine I wanted to drink and had a ball. I had a TV planner and my viewing was organised with suitable meal breaks and a little space for an afternoon constitutional – even in London people say “hello” to people they don’t know for this one day. Truly a Christmas miracle.
Merry Christmas to you all. Do you and do it well.
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