Defining Christmas

The annual festive message for #PlanetRVN last year was about making the holiday season your own – avoiding the normal social conventions and doing what you want or need… I feel that’s a very important message for our own health and well-being.

This year I’m going to get some festive definitions sorted, so when we use words related to Christmas we all know what we mean, in a strictly veterinary context. Let’s start with the biggie.

Christmas

This is the Cambridge English Dictionary definition:

None of the common usages include religious or birthday wishes. It’s about the social conventions of visiting family and the further examples also include the shopping, gift buying, parties and general “busy-ness” of Christmas:

I think we view these holidays differently in the veterinary world and might have a different definition from the standard dictionary. So, I’d like to pose a few options, feel free to add more.

Christmas

• A retail-based social convention focused on intensive rota negotiations that usually start in July.
• Extended period of OOH cover.
• See also locums, rota, holidays, OOH, head nurse and Easter.

Tinsel

A linear foreign body resulting in emergency trip to OOH vets.

Mince pie

Pastry filled with toxins – see “tinsel” for repercussions.

Christmas cracker

Noise phobia inducer.

Rota

A normally helpful spreadsheet rendered useless by holiday requests, normal bank holidays, extra bank holidays for Christmas being on a Sunday and no public transport on said bank holidays.

Holiday

If booked at 9am on 1 January the preceding year (preceding two years in a leap year), you too could have a Christmas holiday.

Locums

Mythical creatures who sit in either one of two camps:

• Christmas LOVERS – who will happily look at your smouldering ruins of a rota and step up.
• Christmas HATERS – who will have stated on 1 January at 9am “I don’t work Christmas this year”.

Head nurse

• Also know as “Rota OverLord”.
• Ability to make or break your Christmas with one click of a button.
• Prone to punishing mischief makers with a horrid festive rota.

OOH

Various definitions:

• Out-of-hours.
• Only one hope.
• Omnipotent overnight healer.

Easter

Similar to Christmas, but with better weather.

You’re a mean one, Mrs Grinch

Yes, as ever I’m a bit “bah humbug” about the whole affair, but at least we can have some fun with what the festivities mean to us. No free holiday days between Christmas and New Year for us, or finishing early on Christmas Eve – this is the time when teams pull together to make sure we provide great care for pets, clients and ourselves.

Over the years I’ve enjoyed festive dinners of takeaway pizza or lasagne, and sometimes not had to eat actual meals because my body was 50% Celebrations or Cadbury’s Roses. I’ve created great memories with colleagues and friends during emergency shifts over Christmas and New Year, and been with some wonderful clients helping them with difficult situations at a very difficult time of year.

Despite my poking fun at Christmas, it does sometimes feel like a privilege to work with #teamvet to be the Other Emergency Service, so for 2018 I sign off with much love to you all for the coming weeks, and a “Q time” for all.

My latest festive-themed Vet Nurse Dictionary Corner videos add an in-depth look at some of the veterinary definitions of familiar festive words. More will be added every Sunday in December.