Commonly held beliefs that don’t do us any good, pt 1

When was the last time you thought – or said aloud – any of these things, or heard someone else say it?

Make no mistake, you will come across people who are any or all of these things, but, in reality, most people are not. We’re just so damn good at ruminating about the handful of negative experiences we do have that we go totally blind to the examples of the best of human nature that we encounter on an almost daily basis as vets.

Human

Humanity can be so very cruel – just pick up any history book if you need to be reminded of our dark side.

Yet, as vets, we consistently see people sacrifice their valuable time and resources to bring creatures of a different species to us, to help them care for these animals.

They may bring them in later than you’d prefer and will often have limitations as to how much they are willing to spend, but what we tend to miss is the miracle that some human cared enough to do something to intervene in the suffering of an animal in their care.

This really is no small thing.

The good, the bad and the uninformed client

And that’s just talking about our problem-clients. Many of our clients are caring, committed, self-sacrificing, grateful and generous. I’m often astounded at how far some people will go for an animal they love, and I’m moved on a daily basis by the depth of connection and emotion that this usually selfish species of ours can share with animals.

Then, a significant percentage of clients fall somewhere in-between – people who have lives full of problems, and worry and duty, who are suddenly faced with the extra responsibility of an animal in need of veterinary care.

We often attribute the aforementioned traits to this group, but the reality is usually much more benign. They are mostly just a mixed bag of worried, stressed, frustrated, uninformed, confused, time-poor, broke, scared, preoccupied… and then we take it personally that they’re not overjoyed to have to come see us.

We perceive it as an insult and a belittling of our skills. We’ll react to them with moral superiority and a sense of injured pride – and in doing so we often push them from this middle group into the “bad client” group, whereas what we should be doing is simply acknowledge their concerns with empathy and address those concerns in a way that leads to the best possible outcome for that patient – that client – in that particular situation.

Words to live by

I keep a quote front of mind for when I find myself getting frustrated with clients:

• Never assume malice when stupidity will suffice.
• Never assume stupidity when ignorance will suffice.
• Never assume ignorance when forgivable error will suffice.
• Never assume error when information you haven’t adequately accounted for will suffice.

In other words – everyone is not out to get you or ruin your day. They’re just dealing with their own lives to the best of their abilities. Help them if you can.

But it’s about more than just finding ways to put up with clients. If that is your goal – simply to survive the clients until you get to work with animals – then you’re missing out.

Most of the happiest vets I know will tell you it’s relationships that matter. That sustained fulfilment comes from connection. Those very interactions – with those troublesome people who cross our paths 100 times a week – hold the key to the source of the biggest and most lasting source of satisfaction in our job… if only we let them.