Coping with euthanasia from a distance

I’m not really sure what’s happening in practice at the moment, but it’s insanely busy.

Despite trying to justify the unbelievable increase in work, I can always think of a counter argument:

• There’s fewer staff members, so maybe the cases are just more concentrated between fewer vets? In reality, we are actually only 1.5 vets down, and still severely restricting the amount of routine appointments and procedures according to diary space. So, in theory, we should be seeing a proportionate number of clients.
• We are doing fewer vaccinations, so maybe it just seems like more appointments are urgent cases because you aren’t getting the “breaks” in between that are vaccines. And yet, how many times on a normal day is a vaccine all that straightforward? Inevitably, the old dog vaccine turns into a chat about arthritis, or the cat that’s just lost a bit too much weight for my liking since the last check-up ends up having bloods taken – I would argue that vaccines are very rarely “just vaccines”.
• Perhaps people are just noticing ailments in their pets because they’re sat at home watching them all day? This I do think counts for a good proportion of the work we are seeing – especially the astronomical amount of flea and wormers that have been ordered (I suspect owners are suddenly noticing how often their pets actually scratch). However, not ALL our clients can surely be furloughed or out of work?

And then there’s the apparent surge in euthanasia…

COVID clearout

In the veterinary world, the “Christmas clearout” is well known by first opinion practitioners, and seemingly we are now experiencing similar, which I am coining the “COVID clearout”.

Again, I’m not sure whether we are genuinely seeing more euthanasia as a practice, whether it’s just that there are fewer vets to spread them across, or that they seem to take up a higher proportion of the fewer appointment slots we currently have available, but it certainly feels so.

As with Christmas, there are a number of reasons this could be happening:

• A lot of people are facing financial hardship as a result of the pandemic and, tragically, some clients may have no choice but to say goodbye to their animals rather than opting for investigations and treatment.
• Sadly, a great deal of our clients are at higher risk of becoming severely ill with COVID, and if the worst should happen – if they have geriatric pets the family are unable to rehome – then I fear the only option could ultimately be joining their previous owner outwith this world.
• We also seem to be seeing a lot more severe, end-stage cases. This could, again, be due in part to the owners experiencing every part of their pet’s daily routine instead of just snapshots, and realising just how much they may actually be struggling.

But, no matter how you try to reason with yourself, it doesn’t make the reality any less unpleasant.

Never enough

Vets are trained professionals, and over the course of our careers, we will probably ease the passing of hundreds of animals. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t affected by it – especially now, when we cannot express the empathy we would like to from behind a mask at the end of a drip line.

I tend not to be a hugger to provide comfort, but will sometimes touch a hand or shoulder of a client I know well – which is a reflex I have had to fight over the past few weeks. Although I try to reassure clients with my words, as per the current social distancing rules, it just doesn’t seem enough.

Wrong goodbye

A recent euthanasia I found especially tough under these circumstances was a horse. These are always highly emotive; made all the more shocking for the clients because the dramatic crashing to the ground is just unavoidable, despite my efforts to try to gently ease them down while avoiding getting squashed.

While I slowly walked around the horse and knelt to listen for an absent heartbeat, I could almost feel the client wanting to throw herself over him and yet restraining herself because I was still there, stethoscope in hand. I gave her plenty of space as soon as I was sure, but still felt desperately sorry that it had to be this way.

It saddens me that this is probably not going to be the last horse I euthanise while maintaining a social distance. However, while I know social distancing is likely to be the “new normal” for the foreseeable future, I don’t think performing euthanasias of any kind in this way will ever quite feel normal.