Finding a mentor, pt 1: are you ready?

When I graduated from university 10 years ago, I remember being told to find the right practice – one with the right boss; that is supportive, encouraging and shares knowledge; and helps you build your skills.

I don’t remember those people being called mentors, but that is essentially what we are calling them now.

Here is the tricky part – you can’t just start a new role and expect someone to be a good or right mentor, and for him or her to teach and train you in what you want and need. That type of expectation is wrong.

Why? I have three reasons:

1. It is an unrealistic expectation – you can’t expect just one mentor to be able to give you everything you need.
2. It is an uncommunicated expectation – given you have not told him or her your expectations of him or her. For a successful mentor relationship, you need to create a formal agreement; often it isn’t just “part of the role”.
3. It could be unachievable – your boss or chosen mentor may not be able to fulfil your needs.

So, what can you do? Well, the first thing you need to understand is that despite the fact, undoubtedly, you and your mentor will learn and benefit from the experience, it is you – as the mentee – who will be responsible for the majority of the work and keeping on track.

Are you really ready to be a mentee? Here is a summary of the steps you need to work through to make sure you are properly prepared.

Are you ready to do the work?

Are you prepared to put in the effort to maintain the relationship?

The mentor is guiding you and offering you advice – they are short-cutting your journey to success.

You are learning from their experience and hard-earned acknowledge, so it is only fair you are prepared to maintain the relationship.

Your mentor should not be chasing you – it is not their role to follow up on you and any homework set.

Are you prepared to take action and implement?

Don’t begin a mentoring relationship and taking up someone’s time, by asking his or her advice and guidance, if you are not going to be accountable and take the actions required to meet your goals.

Are you open for feedback and self-reflection?

A good mentor will be ready to listen, ask questions, then offer advice and guidance if needed.

Also, he or she is likely to challenge you and ask difficult questions – are you prepared for this?

You will need to be ready to explain what you are thinking, your thought processes and the decisions you made, then be ready to receive feedback.

• Part two will look at getting clear in your head what it is you want from your mentor.