It has been, I think I can say not unfairly and without controversy, a funny old few months, hasn’t it?
I suspect you know what I’m talking about. There are few areas of our lives where this thing hasn’t impacted, and the future we were expecting a short time ago is very different to the one we are faced with today.
However, in an interesting turn of events, I suddenly find that a vague dream I had for the future has been granted to me overnight. I work from home now (at the time of writing; what I’m doing when you’re reading this is anybody’s guess, although if all the post-apocalyptic fiction I used to read is to be believed, I might well be fighting with a hobo for a piece of dead rat).
Joys of home working
This was better than I imagined it could be – my productivity soared, the house was quiet, and I sank into and enjoyed my work, and forgot all the worries of the world for a few, blessed hours.
That was the first day. The next day the schools closed, and “blessed” and “quiet” suddenly became distant and unattainable adjectives.
I am aware how lucky I am…
- I have a house.
- I still have a job – not only that, but it’s a job where it is possible to work from home.
- I have a Government that has responded to the economic crisis snapping at the heels of the public health one in a way that, at least for me, has alleviated worries of financial ruin.
- I live in the country and can walk for miles without seeing a soul. Plus, it has been inexplicably sunny since the lockdown, despite having stubbornly pissed it down for the previous three months.
And yet… and yet, I am exhausted.
Reality
I am having to juggle teaching the children (or at least keeping them entertained) with working and revising for an exam that may or may not happen any more.
I miss the banter with my colleagues, and the expertise I had access to and took for granted. I have gained two hours a day (as I no longer have to commute), but am spending more than that every day on the children.
It was at the back of my mind, when I changed careers to become a clinical pathologist, that working from home might become an option some day. I dreamed of it and wondered what it would be like. The reality of it is not what I was expecting.
Mad world
As wiser people than I have observed, if you work from home then you’re at work all the time, and I suddenly feel like I’m juggling three jobs instead of one.
My little corner of refuge where I would play games and shelter from the craziness of the world has become my workstation, while the world outside got a whole lot crazier. I feel that instead of relaxing when I sit here to play games, I feel guilty that I am not working instead – there’s not much personal space any more.
I’m tired and I’m drinking more. I’m very, very lucky. I knew working from home wouldn’t be as easy as it sounded, but I didn’t think it would be quite as difficult as this.
Lost in beauty
The work, however, is as wonderful as it ever is…
Just occasionally, when I have my music turned up loudly enough that the house almost seems quiet and I’m able to sink into the beautiful sights the slides have in store for me, I can get lost in the endless wonder of biology and these marvellous machines we are.
I’m living day by day at the moment (aren’t we all?), but it won’t be like this forever.
Lucky man
We’ll be changed by this as previous generations have been changed before, although even in this I am lucky. Death, ruin and hardship are with us in a way we weren’t expecting, but previous generations have faced much worse. Normal life isn’t as far away as it seems.
Good luck and good health to you from a very lucky man. I’d better go – I’ve got some work to do.
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