Do you have an impostor syndrome persona?

Impostor syndrome is that overwhelming feeling you don’t deserve to be where you are. It’s the niggling sense that maybe you’re not as intelligent, creative or talented as you may seem to the outside world.

We all have this little voice in our head – your inner dialogue starts to seed the suspicion that maybe your achievements are down to luck, good timing or just being in the “right place at the right time” – and it is accompanied by the fear that, one day, you’ll be exposed as a fraud; that you’ll be “found out”.

Some common thoughts and feelings associated with impostor syndrome include one-liners, such as:

• “I must not fail”
• “I’m not good enough”
• “I can’t make a mistake”
• “I feel like a fake”

And when you do well or achieve something, you say:

• “Someone made a mistake”
• “It’s all down to luck”
• “It’s no big deal”

Sound familiar?

Self-sabotage

If you don’t learn to recognise and understand impostor syndrome for what it is, a danger exists that it can start to spiral into deeper seated feelings of self-doubt, such as fear of success, fear of failure, or even self-sabotage – which is where you are creating obstacles in your daily life that interfere with your long-term goals.

Procrastination can become one of those self-sabotage behaviours. People who suffer from the most extreme forms of impostor syndrome live in constant fear of exposure and rejection, and it creates a feeling of isolation.

So, when does the great hammer of impostor syndrome strike most often? Strangely it’s often when we have achieved something, or in moments of success.

Perfectly normal

The important thing to realise is that those feelings are completely normal. It would actually be abnormal if we didn’t have impostor moments, as it would mean we were not stretching ourselves out of our comfort zone, trying new things or showing any self-awareness.

Why is this important? Because the actions you take in response to these feelings can either inspire you to work harder, leading to further success and recognition, or they can lead to “downshifting”. This is when you revise your goals down, play small and become less ambitious, which, in turn, prevents you from fulfilling your true potential.

Here are two examples of impostor personas, along with some solutions to overcome them:

1. High expectations

Do you set extremely high expectations for yourself? If you meet 99% of your goals, does that 1% still feel like a failure? Often, any small mistake will make you question your own competence. A couple of strategies can help.

First is developing ways of demonstrating self-compassion – remember you are entitled to make small mistakes occasionally and forgive yourself. Don’t forget to reward yourself for getting the big things right. Focus on the bigger picture and what went right, rather than the small things that didn’t.

Also important here is pushing yourself to act before you feel ready. There is no such thing as “perfect” or “100% flawless”, so learn to accept that and focus on taking action – taking action proves you are not a fraud.

2. Harder, better, faster, stronger

Are you someone who pushes himself or herself to work harder and faster than those around you, to prove you’re not an impostor? Do you feel the need to succeed in all aspects of life – at work, as parents, as partners – and often feel stressed when you are not accomplishing something? Perhaps you struggle to relax or take a break?

The first strategy to overcome this is seeking internal validation – start training yourself to veer away from external validation. As you become more attuned to internal validation and able to nurture your inner confidence that states you’re competent and skilled, you won’t feel that need to push to work harder than everyone else just to prove yourself.

Secondly, call out the lies and the limiting beliefs inside your head about what you need to prove. Give yourself credit for your achievements and brilliance, and think about what other people say about you – your clients, colleagues, friends and family.

It is probably only you who sees the negative, so write down your achievements and the positive feedback from those around you into a positivity journal – and when you are having rubbish days, go back and read through it.

Did either of these relate to you?

• Next week’s tip will cover three more impostor personas and solutions.