I am really happy if you read the title of this blog and decided not to read it straight away, but wanted to come to it when you felt ready…
The past few weeks have been unpleasant ones in the veterinary community, and while I’m sure many people are tired of discussions about microaggressions – what they are, what they mean, and what they do – I felt it was an appropriate time to share my story that started with microaggressions and continues to this day.
Reader discretion advised
The story involves me and a now ex-colleague. Names will not be mentioned for legal reasons, but if you know me or are involved in security at CPD events I have spoken at, you will have the relevant information and I would ask that you do not share this.
However, the story is not about the person, the perpetrator, it’s about the wider response to their actions.
Working relationship
I was required to work occasionally with this colleague who would disseminate information I provided them, which was part of their job role. It began with only wanting to use emojis when in email contact and ignoring requests to do the part of their job that had to do with working with me.
“Some emojis,” you say. “And not wanting to do a very small part of their job role – that’s not an issue is it?”
Well, this is it with microaggressions: they start small, but the messages they send are so much larger. These messages are loud and clear. In this instance, it was that they didn’t value my work and belittled the contribution I made and refused to work with me.
‘A little odd’
The response from colleagues and my employer was that this person could be “a little odd” and to try to work around this rather than challenging the behaviour. To this end, a new system was put in place for communication between us.
When I first reported the issue with the combative emails and unprofessional conduct, a very senior employee told me: “Well, he doesn’t do that with me.”
My experience thus diminished, because it was not replicated with other people.
FYI: THIS IS NOT HOW TO RESPOND!
Middleman
The workaround put in place was that I would email a third party with what I needed this other person to do, and that would be sent on. Looking back now I realise this was absolutely ludicrous. However, I was also completely aware that the microaggressions I was facing would never be challenged.
I’d like to say it ended there, but it didn’t. The actions of this other person escalated to sexual harassment. Again, when I reported it, I was met with an inappropriate response. I was asked: “Did you ask him to stop?”
FYI: NOT AN APPROPRIATE RESPONSE!
The victim blaming I have experienced in the veterinary community when dealing with this situation has been staggering. The disappointment many of you feel currently with microaggressions is an emotion I feel quite commonly.
Praise for the vet community
There is more to this tale (as I’m sure you can probably tell), but I felt it was time to share a little and to say that, in general, we are great and wonderful community. I love so many of the people I have met, purely just from being in the same workspace or learning space.
But it doesn’t mean this is the same for every person in any community; it doesn’t mean everyone wants to be a better person, a better clinician or a better team player – and I feel it’s key to point out that microaggressions aren’t really about the individual.
Learning opportunity
I think you can see from the simple highlights of this narrative that the microaggressions I experienced for reporting and standing up for myself were, potentially, even worse than this person’s actions.
I’m not saying I’m perfect, and I imagine I have fallen foul of making microaggressions towards people, but I do know that I am prepared to learn and prepared to stand up and be counted. I will report these behaviours where seen, but I would also like others to let me know if I carry out any behaviour that makes them uncomfortable.
It’s never “only an emoji”.
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