I passed out in theatre…
In my 20 years of being in practice, of scrubbing into a variety of operations, of holding “this instrument” while I get hit in the face by an arterial bleed, I’ve never fainted. Which begs the question: why today?
In the most bloodless of orthopaedic procedures, one I’ve assisted in many times before, why was it the arthroscopy that tipped me over the edge? The answer? It didn’t. It was my failure to listen to my body.
Excuses, excuses
I wasn’t feeling very well the night before, I didn’t eat my dinner and I went to bed early feeling a bit sick. When I woke up, I still didn’t feel right, but you start making excuses:
- I’d been out doing a litter pick in the sun
- I’d had a long day
- maybe I didn’t drink enough water
The truth is, I wasn’t feeling well the day before and still did all those things knowing I wasn’t right, but I ploughed on because it’s what you do – I couldn’t let anyone down.
Out cold
I arrived at work, smile on my face, with the “let’s crack on” attitude. Nothing unusual there. Everything was going to plan. We were in the first elbow, and I was doing my “hold this, poke that” job, when I started to yawn, and my mouth started to fill with saliva. I excused myself, walked over to the other side of theatre (maintaining sterility), composed myself and went back to it, apologising.
The next thing I know I’m looking up at the theatre ceiling with the head nurse stripping me out of my sweaty gown and gloves holding a fan over my face. Apparently, I had hit my head on the theatre table and the floor. The first thing I said?
“Sorry.”
I couldn’t stop apologising for all the hassle I had caused, for making people panic for no reason, and for breaking sterility!
Sick day
I felt like an idiot. I’ve seen so many nurses, vets and students pass out in theatre in various circumstances, and I’ve always been proud of my ability to keep it together. Turns out, it’s not about keeping it together! I wasn’t well, and spent the following three days with the sort of diarrhoea you would quarantine a patient for with a Vircon footbath at the door.
I should’ve called in sick. But with what excuse? I don’t feel right? It’s not really an excuse, is it? Consequently, I went into work and may have passed around a virus, I could’ve made others unwell and consequently made the practice short staffed.
If I had called in sick, I wouldn’t have passed out and I would have spent the day feeling guilty about leaving the surgeon without an assistant. The procedure probably would have been cancelled last minute, putting out the clients and the practice. So, what was the right thing to do? Did I need to pass out to prove to myself that I wasn’t fit enough to be at work?
Listen to your body
Do we need to start listening to our physical health again? We’ve been concentrating so hard on maintaining and regulating our minds and mental health, have our temples started to show cracks and we’re just pushing putty into them?
I don’t know the answer to this, but it’s worth thinking about and discussing with your colleagues. At what point does “I don’t feel quite right” become an acceptable excuse for not being at work? It may save the whole team from going down with a knockout virus for three days.
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